I Wonder...

Naw. I don't wonder. I worry. Naw, too soft a phrase. I pity the human race and myself and State Police Jesus and Uncle Freddy.

We are grunting shit factories with bad attitudes. There is nothing redeeming or noble about being a human being. We're fucking animals. There's no magic or mystery. We're diseased eat/sleep/fuck machines just like the rest of nature only we try to hide it and that makes us EVIL as all fuckout.

Worse, we are self aware. Too self aware. Now granted, it seems that the 'lower life forms' have little regard for their own kind as far as courtesy or sharing except out of a genetic drive to propagate the species, but we humans are aware of ourselves, that there are others that share our horrible condition (humanity), and we make fully conscious choices to ignore, exploit and worsen this condition for others.

Even the few of us that try, on occasion to provide relief, find the conditioning of life too much to resist. We give, others take, and we get little back so we stop giving. Or worse, we become incapable of seeing the open giving of others and even learn to resent help. In short, one has to be willing to give, overlook slights, acknowledge the help of others without resent, be conscious of when we refuse to give and try to make amends, all for the general good only to have the majority of people overlook what we do, and sometimes even abuse our generosity.

And when we can't give and others need us, but we're in a bind and find ourselves incapable of helping others, and those that need us most forget all the times we've been there for them and helped out and they've overlooked their own lack of compassion towards us and turn bitter and flippant towards us, we have to move on and remind ourselves that maybe what they're going through is worse than what we are. You never know.

And then there are times when we are forced to ask for help and greeted with anger. Maybe people hate weakness or maybe they are just too selfish and can't bother to be slightly inconvenienced. And not just strangers we ask for help, but friends.

Now this is Dr. Murk taking to you, so those of you that have helped me, past present and future can exempt yourself from my angst. Most of you know because I've thanked you or will thank you when I get to it. If you're not sure which category you fall in, feel free to pick a category for yourself because you're probably okay. Most of those who I'm cranked at don't even read this. So why bother?

Hey, fuck all I just think it needs to be said on my behalf, my wife's behalf, my family and a few close friends in tough times right now too. I hear so many shitty stories about how people I love are being treated. feel free to sign this with a comment and stand up for yourself if you agree.

If you disagree, hey that's you and you're lucky and I hope it never comes back on you like it's come back on me.

/end rant