The grocery store is filled with pirates and IEDs. I went to buy myself some bread and shit, and then this dude pops out with a price gun and retagged everything in the bread aisle and in my cart.
Okay, it wasn't like that, but food is damn expensive. Ever since people forgot how to grow their own, we've been at the mercy of greedy Armenian Grocers. It's been even worse over the last five years. The four dollar a gallon gas hike gave everyone from Tom Jones to Freddy Fingers an excuse to raise prices by ten to twenty percent.
My bill at the Stop and Shop actually said "Ha ha, fuck you!" at the bottom. Actually it said Thank You, but I said Fuck You to the cashier, the butcher, the deli hag, some retarded kid and the elderly war veteran. I also ran over a cat on my way home. It was in someone's yard. I had to do some NASCAR style shit to get it too.
It's alright though. I used some lady's credit card and signed it George Orwell just to see if the cashier was paying attention. And, I touched like eight of the loaves of bread. I'm not telling which ones.
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2 comments:
Don't buy groceries at Stop and Shop:
1. Wal Mart
2. Price Rite
Some especialy patriotick grocerys give considrable discounts to gun-ownrs. Jus show yer gun to th cashier, and th cashier will oftn jus let ya walk out wit th grocerys.
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