So, Malach the Merciless made prime rib. Now, I am never one to doubt the cooking ability of the illustrious Bistro King Malach, but prome rib is easy to fuck up, and it goes in grade. I've had beef too dry, not cooked enough, over seasoned, just off, gamey, squished, watered down and just crap bland. Then, sometimes you get a decent cut, well cooked, nicely seasoned, a good treat.
AND THEN, there's Malach's Prime Rib. Boring back story: there used to be a place called Costa's Family Restaurant that served prime rib by the ton and it was the best the best the best ever hands down no substitutes and no immitations accepted. As far as I recall, Malach has attempted Prime Rib maybe onve or twice and I did not sample it. So, this was a bit of what the chess playing world would be a novelty.
It came into the house (yes, he delivered it to a party for some really old dude we know called 'Dad' or something), and he unveiled it. I try never to make snap jusdements based solely on looks, or aroma or even looks and aroma... but man o man... like the wise woman at the front of the chow line said, we were on it like vultures.
Look. I barely eat now. I've become one of those min calorie people. Maybe 1000 on a really low day because it makes me feel better than pigging out, but when I get a hankering for something, I dive in.
I took the biggest slice, and half of Mrs. Dr. Murk's slice when she was too full to continue. This was beef folks. Pure and simple. Prime Rib of Beef, the King's Request meal and it was beyond perfect. It made Costa's taste like old shoe leather dipped in shit.
My specialty is staight fire BBQ wings and people rave over them. This was one notch UP from my wings. Not down, UP. My wife can outcook me in most areas, but my wings kick her ass up and down the block with a size 15 lead boot, and this Prime Rib beat my wings. I will even introduce myself to people in public and admit this because the beef was so savory I'm ashamed that my dirty mouth, my unworthy filth hole even ate it. I degraded the meat by even thinking I was worthy to taste it.
Normally I'm a cuss and will trash anyone and anything in my way, but I can't. I can't even pretend to be slightly unimpressed. Awesome. Much like me, Awesome. I can now rest for the night knowing God has not abandoned us.
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2 comments:
Glad you liked it, this was my first attempt.
Liked it??? Dear God, no. I worship it now. I even saved the feces this morning to dry out on my lawn so I can shellack it and put it in a glass case.
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