Life Immitates News

Sometimes you have one of those days where you wonder, what else could go wrong? Well, Hillary Clinton had one of those days yesterday. It's a long standing tradition to get Presidential Candidates to pick a winner for the Kentucky Derby.

With her campaign obviously failing, he rival gaining superdelegates despite being a black madman, Hillary Clinton decided to get cute. When asked which horse she picked to win, she made a funny. She picked the only girl horse (a 'fillet'), Eight Bells.

Eight Bells was put down (killed) on the track yesterday.

Clinton backed the wrong horse. It's weird because some superdelegates have said the same thing about backing her.

Not to beat a dead horse, but she's the only girl horse in the race and she'll have to be put down while still on the track.

When Senator Clinton heard the news, she was heard to sigh, "You're fucking kidding me. What else?"

The what else was that she burned the roast because she got caught up watching General Hospital reruns on Soap Network. No wonder no one wants her for President! Imagine if that roast was an important summit.

Her handlers have tried many times to get her to understand the idea of responsibility for her own good. You know what they say, you can lead a horse to water, but she'll probably just fall down and have to be shot because she's too dumb to stop trying to run.

Rest In Piece, Eight Bells. I look forward to seeing you soon at McDonald's for the premiere of the $8.88 Belle Burger with 100% fillet meat. Mmmmmm mmmmm. It' what?