Happy FDoCO

The Feast Day of Coliding Objects is the first, major and only feast day of the Branch Foldgers Hanging Whiptackle Sectarians (hereforto reffered to as BFHWS or the Bromides). Bromide Religion is know for its fiercely independent nature, and this one, only and sacred feast day is celebrated almost every month except for January and February, when it is just too cold.

Bromide beliefs state very ambiguously that all of existence is dependent upon the collision of objects and forces, "be they very little or freaking huge". The exceptions to this are the Bromide Reformists, who insists that nothing actually collides and there IS a God, and the Pacifistic Branch Foldgerians, who bemoan collisions of all sorts, as seen in their Superior Rite of Cleansing:

Naysayer: Terrible is the Lord, for he makes things hit things.

Worriers: Oh what a shame!

Naysayer: What is it we came to do?

Worriers: Get down without colliding.

Naysayer: Let us hide...

Bromides developed their doctrine over centuries. No one is quite sure where all the rules and paradoxes come from. Scholars debate that the actual Feast Day of the Colliding Objects began at the Chartruese Moron School of Philosoprosidy with Bim Allah, the first Bromide Prophet. He wrote:

"What? Did they collide again? Indeed."

Later, this philosophy was carried across the lake by the Philosophical Pirates of the Western Seas, and variously interpreted by the The Thinkers: Claude, Maude and Stinky. These souless men carelessly created a worldwide system for organizing, affirming or denying, celebrating or cold hating all collisions on the palnet. Or so they thought.

With the emergence of modern science in the last few years, it has come to be known that all atoms are 99.999% empty space and that it is an semimagnetic phenomenon known as 'jilts' that makes objects unable to pass through each other. This was widely celebrated by the Pacifistic Bromides and the Reformation, until Jaquey Maquey proved with just a pen that "So what? It's the same fucking thing anyways."

And so, today as you are rewrapping your soda and trimming the fishing line in preperation for a day which is pretty much the same as every other day, stop and remember the reason for the celebration (or the denial or the bemoaning) of colliding objects: Some guys just made it up.