You Know What?

I've studied all of the major religions on the planet. You know where they go wrong? Making up rules. No no, it's true. Where do the rules come from? They only have two choices:

a GOD

a HUMAN

If they claim a GOD gave them the rules, then the adherents want to know when and where. So, there's now a story attached. As soon as all the witnesses of GOD's great revelation are dead, anyone can add to the story or change the rules. Or, people can just say 'yeah, God talked to me too and here are some more rules to follow.'

If they admit the rules are a creation of fallible humans, then they become invalid. Even the old game of divine inspiration and granted infallability don't work. People don't really buy that.

The sad thing is, if a GOD was really trying to talk to us, humans would exploit the message as soon as it was sent.

Now I believe in powers that are greater than me, both human and divine, but I don't buy into any one human group's claim to have the true faith. How would they know short of a direct missive from God? All of the sacred texts have undergone too many revisions and edits to be fully trusted as divinely written.

So, how do I deal? I believe we all have an ear for truth and an ear for pure fucking horseshit. I trust that.

Call

Things not working out the way you planned?

Drop off the grid.

Fact:
A human being needs a bare minimum 1500 Calories to survive and move around.
Large Bulk Calorie Items can be found lying around in sealed packages in back of grocerie stores.

Fact:
A human being requires water.zzzzzzz5432!!!@ find water.com boilit learntomake a fire.

Fact:
Human beings require vitamins and minerals. Target. CVS. WALMART. Cheap.

Fact:
Human beings need shelter. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...bubububububub@!!!!!!!!!! findshelterthere you can find shelter and lots of it. buildafireforwarmth.

Fact:
All human beings die. It's going to happen. It's deciding how you want to spend the time between now and when it does that makes the difference.

ALL HUMANS MUST REPORT FOR....

i think they're reading this...

The END

Well, I finished watching the final 2 hour season finale of Battlestar Galactica and that is the end of that series. No spoilers here.

I have spent three years with this show, and as a whole it did not disappoint. The last episode was about what I expected, quality wise. How do you even end a story like that? They ended the clean way. I would have ended on a far darker note, but their ending was cathartic enough I guess.

So, that is the end.

For now.

Dread Diary

OBLOGMA presents, my Obama's First diary:

i cant beleive itz january already! I cant wait till obama is president! they are moving into some house in washington before thewy go to the witehouse. they are all so cute! i bet michelle cooks him dinner and he sits in that sgrey sweater yeah lolz. oh i love him.

i can't even think straight obama just took his first steps!!!!

i think obama likes chicken soup with noodles, not rice. can we get some noodles up in here? yes we can. michelle says marriage is hard work. yeah. maybe if your not married to barack obama! i hear he rubs her feet every night right before he put the kids to bed. awwwwww!

barack obama is so wise. oprah even sez that. i hope obama and i are bffl. i'll always remeber he was black and i voted for him.

i cant believe how much bush suks. he meessed up the country and now obama has to fix the planet 8cue sewperman music!!!8 wait....

oh noes! i just heard that obama has sneezed! call doctur nao!!! the bushes probly left a secret flu there to kill him but they cant. so awesome. all the troops are coming home and the econemy is gettin better and better. oh, michelle is on the cover o us magazine. hawt.

theyre getting a dog!!!! yeah!!! but michelle is smart and has it planned for april. i don't know if i can wait that long! the girls want it on april fools day, but michelle say, oh no no no.

omg, there's a pickcha of obama on this mortgae ad! how funny! ha ha ha. he's got a check for me! and he does. i'm already earning about 50 dollars more per hour because of his economic stimulants.

so i must go to bed dear dairy, so i'll tell you more about what obama did tomorrow. i cant wait!@!!



nite

361

It's the number of intelligent societies that have (note: HAVE) arisen in the Milky Way Galaxy since its beginning. This is the low end estimate, the absolute lowest it can be statistically. This according to a new computer model designed and run by some very skeptical but well respected astronomers.

The number was a surpise to may of them, who loaded the computer simulation to favor a high number of mass extinctions and a very strict definition of the conditions necessary for life to even begin.

And the number is likely to go up as we learn more about how and when life can develop.

Not just 316 species or 361 possible planets. 361 intelligent societies.

Survival of the Survivalists

Brainhead's notes from the road.

So, being in a flu-like haze since my departure on National Single Awareness Day, I have only one thing on my mind: survival. I've wandered off into an in-law apartment in Florida for seven days with food, water, shelter and more than a few items to see if I can survive in civilization.

Day 1:

The plane lands and I'm already on edge. The sweltering heat of the suburban Florida Swamps makes me uneasy. The smell of the urinals in the airport is enough to make me want to turn around right now. But for the next seven days, this will be home.

The first priority in a survival situation is to stay calm and take inventory of your surroundings. I have cash, 4 pieces of full luggage, a wife, credit cards, a laptop, use of a car, cellphones, batteries and a bag of Fridays. While it may not seem like much, even the smallest thing can give you an edge when it comes to survival.

My first thought is shelter, but the wilderness has its own ideas, and my driver has pulled into a restaurant. Looks like I'll be eating real food. And it's only my first night...

Okay. So, I'm no Les Stroud. But neither is Bear Grylls. Being infatuated with a celebrity is tough. I love Les Stroud and would gladly eat his children. If I could be anyone in the world besides Muhammed Ali or George Clinton, it would be Les Stroud. I would have sex with his poo poo.

Bear Grylls, on the other hand, is a fraud. I won't bore you with the details. Go read a damn wikipedia article, but he's a fake ass punk, and I would not have sex with his poo poo.

So, in the fictional world of my head, I have created a survival championship. 7 men. 4 weeks. No rules. Drop them all off in a remote location, and tell them to survive for a month. Killing the competition or allying with them is all fair game. So, who do we want in this competition?

Well Les and Bear, just for contrast, but we need 4 others. And to help them out, they would get a one year survuval crash course if needed. So, who else?

Josh Bernstien - Host of Digging for the Truth and CEO of the Boulder Outdoor Survival School. Josh may seem as rugged as a wet Kleenex, but his ass was forged into steel buns of panic.

Don Wildman - Host of Cities of the Underworld. Now, as we shape up the first four contestants, we know that Don is at a disadvantage... except for the fact that I haven't revealed the location yet. And Don is crazy. Crazy assed Crazy.

Sue Stroud - Les' wife. Bitch can throw a hatchet. Does this give Les an advantage? Only if he can find her before the other contestants kill or kidnap her. If you're wondering, she worries about their lifestyle not being primitive enough because they use electricity. She'll be fine.

Iain Stewart - Host of snooty Scottish geology specials. He's basically cannon fodder.

and....

Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama - He can survive on the moon with no space suit.


The location? The subways and streets of New York City.
The Catch? They can't get caught by anyone and can't use money of any kind.

Questions?

Speaking of Cylons

I'm off to Florida with the Cylons. So, here's what I think we just learned.

Cobol ---- First Cylons made. WAR! Holocaust. Everyone flees Cobol, icluding a group of biological cylons.

13 Colonies ----- It takes a while, but idiot humans make cylons again. Meanwhile the 13th colony of old cylons inhabits Earth. Somehow they get a warning (porbably Starbuck in some weird time travel deal) and head out at sub light speed to warn the other cylons and fix them. The old cylons make a deal with the new cylons to give them the biological technology in order to end the cycle of conflicts. It doesn't work.

WAR! 2nd Holocaust.

Long return to earth. Everything startes to be revealed.

If new cylon biological units can reproduce biologically, it might convince them to stop trying to kill humans. If the two races can interbreed, they might all get along.

Just my thoughts.