Murk. Is that my real name?
It's a loaded question. If I say yes, I'm a liar and can easily be detected. If I say no, then I'm hiding behind a mask, begging to be exposed.
So, let's end this potential Mexican Standoff before anyone fires a shot. No. Dr. Robert J. Murk is not my real name. It is an invention, a fiction. It is for entertainment only. Mainly my entertainment, but hey.
Why hide? Got something to hide Murk? Yup. I could cite hundreds of practical reasons, but let's say my real name was Bisby Rasputin Ticklesteen. No one would take me seriously. Even if I had a normal name like Fred Papers, we all know, no one likes Fred Papers. No one hates Fred Papers. Not true of Dr. Robert J. Murk. People love him and hate him. Some care less.
Here's my angle. If I wanted to post under my real name, I would. In fact, I do. Not here of course. This is a place of bad magic tricks and slander. It is a land of milk and Tylenol PM. It's offensive, stupid, ham handed hack drivel that I love writing.
Sure, unmasking Dr. Murk would shine a light on the madness of his creator, but honestly... truth is far less fun in this case. Here, it's a Murk Reality Zone, free of logic, scruples and morals.
I must admit, it's become tough not to be Murk in real life. Just ask Malach. I stupidly acted the Murk at a recent family gathering. I was in a Murk Moment and got caught throwing a Murk Tantrum. It never should have happened.
Is the name real? No, but the guy does exist here and in my mind and in the mind of others.
A famous magician once said that if you reveal the trick, it's no longer magic. It's just a trick. People love magic. They hate to be tricked. So, let's prolong the magic for a bit more until the global agenda of Third Option Media, Hill TV and Rubbersuit Studios is realized.
Be kind. People who drag others skeletons out of the closet eventually become bone collectors and nothing else. We can all admit it's a poor man's charade, this privacy of the Intarweb, but I am a poor man.
And to throw another dumb cliche out, I'm a shallow puddle. Don't try to dive in.
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8 comments:
I always thought your name was Munk.
Maybe your real name is Murk and Murk has tricked you into believing that it's not your real name.
My real name is Cunt Rag.
So there.
Next crazy thing you'll say is that you're not a real doctor.
On a related note, I'm sending you a picture of this testicle rash I have.
Let me know what you think.
Moooooog35,
That's an awesome rash. One question. Why is it in the shape of a pentagram?
Oh fudgesickles. Next you're going to tell us that the dancing California Raisins were some sort of fake too.
Hey, I know who you are- You're Barack Obama's Evil Twin!!
Maybe you have Multiple Personality Disorder and Murk is one of your alter egos? ;) Anyhow we don't care what your real name is, we still like ya.
I don't have any personality.
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