Another Sunday

So, my Sunday Drive ended badly:



The cause? Al Gore.

You know, even though he kept mispronouncing words and had no clue what he was talking about, I believed him. As my car spun out of control on the ice patch, I shouted "Save me global warming!!!"

It didn't work.

Luckily, I took out some pesky utility poles. I interupted enough electricity to power a small RC Race Car for an hour! Plus, think of all the cable TVs and internet modems I shut down! Score one for team green and Doctor Murk!

Unfortunately, I was next to a public housing unit. With all the streetlights out, I guess no food stamps got delivered. It's a shame. It's such a wonder to see a perfectly functioning government program go down the tubes because of Al Gore.

What is the 'Al' short for? Alzhiemers? What a dink.

So, is anyone else excited for this Democratic Primary? I am. WOW! Our caring, sensitive Liberal Leaders (HAIL!) sure have us confused. Name calling? Tsk tsk. Another year of a divided liberal party. Sigh... They can't even agree on this economic stimulus plan! I thought Pelosi was the queen? Now, I guess she's the queen of EVIL! What a great choice for majority leader. She's got more cave in her than a Tennessee mining town!

I sure the JV Squad gets it together or... another 4 years of their liberal whining.

You see, I am a conservative. BUT, I'd like to see a Democrat take their turn with a full Democratic Congress and still fail worse than Bush. I'm going to get rich off of my first satirical but wildly inaccurate book about our new Democratic President.

Actually, I want Hillary to win. I know she's past the time of feminine monthly problems, but hey! I'm just a dumb, uneducated conservative who thinks all women are second class citizens, right? So, let the period jokes begin!

If Obammmmmma wins, I will not make any racist comments. I'll just childishly make fun of his name, his religious beliefs and any public faux pas he makes. BUT, I'll be branded as a racist. Even though people have been doing the exact same thing to Bush for 8 years.

On second though, if either one of them becomes President, they'd be making history. First woman, or first man of ANY minority (except the damn Irish) to become president. Although Hillary technically would be Presidette.

One question. When the President is a woman, or a minority, who will you have left to blame for your lack of success in life? There will be no more 'Man' keeping you down, girly. No more prejudiced white opressor sitting in his big white house picking on you. What then?

I, for one, will use this opportunity to push my social and political agenda by blaming the White House for everything. I will blame them for any death or natural disaster, heedless of the people who have passed on. I will wallow in every mistake they make. I will live in America, but complain about my lack of freedom constantly. I'll spit on soldiers and burn flags and...

Wait. I'm feeling weird. I think all this liberal thinking has brainwashed me...

I'll watch CNN and see what I should believe...