Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Long Overdue ESPN Rant

It happened to MTV in the early nineties. MTV stood for Music Television. Now, MTV is Drama Queen Television.

ESPN has decided that the SPORTS part of their broadcasting is not really important. Even Sportscenter, the 'flagship' show, which is supposed to be sports highlights is 50% fluff and human interest. The rest of the shows are almost purely personality driven bar room sports talk.

As a lover of sports, I watch to get AWAY from tear jerking human interest stories, political and legal scandals and above all BIASED ANALYSIS.

One of my favorite ESPN shows use to be NFL Sunday Countdown. They analyzed every game and gave you sports related facts and some speculation on what you could expect during the sporting event in question. Today, that changed. There was one full hour of analysis of, not a game... not a game... but videotaping a game. Not a game... videotaping a game.

Look, I understand that the story about the Patriots filiming a game from the sidelines (which is against NFL rules) is important, but ONE HOUR???? They barely mentioned that there were football games about to be played.

And when will Tom Jackson SHUT THE FUCK UP! Tom, you used to be an intelligent analyst. Now, you're just a puppet house boy playing yes massa to ABC. Grow a set of balls and analyze a game instead of spouting your SHINY NEW MICHAEL IRVING black attitude. Look, Keyshawn Johnson is as dark as they get and even HE thought you were going over the edge.

It's like some female executive at ABC decided to come on over to ESPN and put up curtains and rearrainge the furniture. ESPN is a girl's sports network now: all drama and cat fighting. Analyze a game you fucking puppets.

My suggestion? Fire everyone but Ron Jawarski, let him grow the mustache back and have him do 24 hours of film analysis. Men, rise up and boycott this menstrual swimming pool of sports called ESPN: the Estrogen Sports Network.

Murk

11 comments:

AngryMan said...

They've been that way for several years. It all started with The Mayne Event, The Jam Session, and Rush Limbaugh. I also loved NFL Countdown, but I'm glad I don't have ESPN now.

Dr. Robert J. Murk said...

I know... I just finally couldn't take it when I had to switch to CBS pre-game.

Malach the Merciless said...

Salisbury can be entertaining also.
What no podcast plug?

Sara Sue said...

"menstrual swimming pool of sports" PERFECT!

FreeOscar said...

Stuart Scott is a tool. I want to take those glasses stomp on them & then piss on them & put them back on his face.

AngryMan said...

That was great when JJ Reddick threw him under the bus during the NBA draft. It was classic.

Anonymous said...

Oi, achei seu blog pelo google está bem interessante gostei desse post. Gostaria de falar sobre o CresceNet. O CresceNet é um provedor de internet discada que remunera seus usuários pelo tempo conectado. Exatamente isso que você leu, estão pagando para você conectar. O provedor paga 20 centavos por hora de conexão discada com ligação local para mais de 2100 cidades do Brasil. O CresceNet tem um acelerador de conexão, que deixa sua conexão até 10 vezes mais rápida. Quem utiliza banda larga pode lucrar também, basta se cadastrar no CresceNet e quando for dormir conectar por discada, é possível pagar a ADSL só com o dinheiro da discada. Nos horários de minuto único o gasto com telefone é mínimo e a remuneração do CresceNet generosa. Se você quiser linkar o Cresce.Net(www.provedorcrescenet.com) no seu blog eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso. (If he will be possible add the CresceNet(www.provedorcrescenet.com) in your blogroll I thankful, bye friend).

Dr. Robert J. Murk said...

Spanish spam?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

mustaches always make men get their shit straight and be more manly. look at goddamn magnum pi... he takes a bullet every other episode, cranks down all the hot hawaiian whores to a nub, and drives that sweet ass car.

oh, yeah, that does look like spanish spam. if it wanted anyone to be interested, it should at the very LEAST put up some boobs. shitty third world marketing...

Dr. Robert J. Murk said...

Drunkbird,

Now that's a great response. Everyone else take notes.

Anonymous said...

I'm looking forward to getting more information about this topic, don't worry about negative opinions.