Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Miracle Whip Will Not Tone It Down

You heard me! Miracle Whip is its own crazy ass blend of spices and shit and who the fuck are you to tell Miracle Whip what to do? Miracle Whip will not tone it down. So step the fuck off!

Can you tell the new Miracle Whip commercial got me hyped? You bet your clit, fucktoad. I want to dip my dick in a Miracle Whip filled condom and go to town! Oh, that commercial has me amped like a meth kid playing with a car battery. Jesus Christ, I want some Miracle Whip right now...

I've got this great idea for a Miracle Whip commercial as a follow up to the whole 'we won't tone it down' ad campaign.

A woman sits eating a sandwich. A guy comes over and asks her what she's got on her sandwich. Then, two kids in trench coats pop out and shoot her in the face with a gun. Then the guy eats the sanwich. "Miracle Whip will shoot you in the fucking mouth." Then a quick shot of someone cutting a chicken's head off.

We'll show them, Miracle Whip. They'll regret making fun of us!

I have to go. Kicked off the computer again. (will not tone it down)

3 comments:

Malach the Merciless said...

Hey, let's make the video this weekend!

Dr. Robert J. Murk said...

Are you suggesting I tone it down?

Joey Polanski said...

Yeah.

And vanilla ice cream is gettin, like, WAY outta hand!