Murk: So, you're an athiest?
Athiest: That's right.
M: When did you realize this?
A: Well, it's hard to say. I've always been somewhat skeptical. I guess what tore it was the appalling lack of evidence for a higher power.
M: Lack of evidence... what about the complexity of the universe and how its laws are inviolable? Who put the laws there?
A: It certaintly wasn't a higher power. (laughs)
M: What evidence do you have that it isn't a higher power?
A: Oh! You made a mistake. You can't prove a negative. Can you prove Mickey Mouse didn't put the laws in place?
M: Mickey Mouse is a cartoon.
A: Exactly. So is this fictional higher power. A human creation made up to give humans something to blame when things go wrong. Designed to provide false hope so humans don't strive for change. Opiate of the masses.
M: You want me to prove God isn't Mickey Mouse?
A: No. It's just... okay, I was being glib-
M: I think God would agree with that.
A: No, stop. You're not addressing the issue here.
M: What issue?
A: That god is a hoax used to control weak minds.
M: No, I think that's television.
A: What?
M: Well, no one listens to the Church anymore, so they use television to control us.
A: Who?
M: Them.
A: Who is this fictional 'them'.
M: Well, you brought them up.
A: I did not.
M: Then who is using God to control us?
A: You're missing the point.
M: No, I've got it. Aliens are using God to control us, and the Church is now using TV and therefore the Church has become 'them'.
A: Okay. Show me one tangible piece of evidence for the existence of God.
M: Here.
A: A rock?
M: The processes and resulting composition of that particular piece of granite is so complex that the combination of all human minds and all computers cannot recreate this exact rock. In fact, they cannot create any ammount of granite. Yet this blind, random universe you claim to live in created millions of tons of it.
A: It happened that way because when the universe began...
M: I want hard evidence that the universe had a beginning.
A: What?
M: Maybe the universe is eternal.
A: No reasonable scientist thinks that.
M: No reasonable theologian thinks their isn't a higher power.
A: Science is based in provable fact.
M: Science is based on observational information which is flawed.
A: You have a better idea? We've used science to create tangible results, like nuclear fission, microwaves, radar, space travel. Science works repeatedly and experiments can produce consitent results.
M: Oh. Results. Hmmmmm.
A: What?
M: Well, what if science provides the results and God provides inspiration, comfort and the framework to get results. Science is explanation of HOW to get results. God is the explanation of WHY consistent results can be achieved. Human beings used science to discover the laws of the universe. What put those laws in place?
A: Science is working on that. One day there will be an answer.
G: Can I believe in God until then?
S: You can believe whatever you want. It doesn't make it true.
God: That depends on the definition of true.
Science: Semantics.
God: Well, humans use words to communicate, so everything comes down to semantics. By your reasoning, truth cannot be found in words.
Satan: Let's take a break.
God: So, science is a human contruction based in words, which contain semantic arguements with flawed observational 'truths'.
Satan: Don't put quotes around truth. You make it seem like my truth is less than yours.
God: It's just words, right? What's the harm? Science sucks and God rocks.
Satan: Now you're just being obtuse.
God: Why do you care so much about this? If you don't believe in God then fine. Why does it bother you?
Science: Because you're spreading ignorance.
Gosh: I'm not. Personally. I'm just having a conversation.
Shaman: No. You're trying to tell people things that aren't true. You're confusing them.
Glok: No. It's a simple thing. God exists. Accept it or don't.
Socks: No.
Guards: Fine. But don't tell me what I can and can't believe.
Sars: Just stop teaching it in the schools.
Gurk: I'm not.
Arts: Not you specifically...
Murk: Okay, everybody out. I want a word alone with Athiest.
Athiest: You drugged my drink didn't you?
Murk: Yeah.
Athiest: Asshole.
Murk: Shut up, this is the best part....
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10 comments:
I always thought Goofy was God.
I don't know who God is, but Hale Berry's His Mama.
So, did you all have an orgy afterwards?
You took the Lord's Name in vane like 200 times, sinner.
You should debate this with the Reverend
Well, as an atheist, I would not argue that way. For a start, I don't ever take the subject as flippantly as your hypothetical atheist. Well, hardly ever. I also argue much better for science.
And I need to point out that God is not an explanation of either 'how' or 'why'. Saying something like 'It's so amazing that God must have done it!' is as barren as saying 'Science proves there is no such thing as God!'
If your ground state is 'I just have Faith', then, as I've explicitly stated on The Cow many times, there is no actual argument. Faith cannot be argued into or out of existence. Faith is unassailable. Sadly, I lost mine a long time ago, and unless God grants me an epiphany, I really have no way back.
Tough situation eh?
You're a scientologist.
You said the word, "glib." Only they use that word.
You're waiting for aliens and you don't even know it.
Sad, dude. Sad.
You tell them Doc, your are slowing moving up my list of the Beautified! YES!
The rock is completely doable. People make granite and so forth in labs all the time. Take the right shit, melt it, leave it to crystalize, you got granite. To say the processes point to a processor is fallacious.
There was a Finnish philosopher during the Enlightenment that postulated that the rules of the universe were to God as impulses to move fingers are to us. Just as the cells responding to impulses cannot be aware of the being running the show, neither can the being be aware of the individual cell. That's the best argument I have FOR the existence of God.
Personally, I'll stick to boobs and rocks.
Pope only said yes one time....I feel he may be a fake. Keep an eye on him.
So you either need to get your personality disorder medications tweaked....
Or all of you boys need to go out onto the school playground and duke it out like real men (boys) and whoever is left standing is God, or Satan, or an Alien or a damn rock. Pick your damn poison!
I am gonna go hug a damn tree now.
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