We Meet

Hello. My name is Dr. Robert J. Murk. If you are reading this, you are at my blog. Welcome, ya mangy fucktwist. I hope you do enjoy. I'm really keen on that.

So, if this is not your first time here, you might be a sayin', 'Bob, where you been and what you been a doin'?' You want a map? Fine.

As much as I love you all, I was doing life stuff. Making money, initiating projects, negotiating the surrender of Haiti, bawlin chicks and roasting delicious birds over a giant fire. The fire was my neighbor's house.

In all seriousness, I've been writing my new number one bestseller help book called, "You Outrageous Titty Fuckers: The Story of How Murk Fixed All His Good Friends for Good." Yes, my alternate title, "Murk: Fix The Ones You Love" got canned by my publisher. I hope they like the new title. I hope you smell ass and die.

I'm trying to be serious and it's not working. So, you want a sneak peek at my book, huh? Self help is such a money maker. I'll give you a preview, but I'm editing out anything good that you should, by rights pay for. Fair. Yes it is, cheapshit.

"The moment one realizes that eliminating [removed] from one's life by...
... translated correctly means... all wealth and power become yours by [removed]... ... ... collision on sub atomic levels... neurotransmitter seretonin... * ... fuckers... secret masonic buncker located in [removed]... Michael Jackson bleeding to death... rich, corinthian leather... lots of towels for this process."

And that's just the first paragraph!

So, if this book is released via Publish on Demand, who would buy it? I'm glad we met, suckers!