Op Ed

Thursday is the day for my weekly Op Ed piece. What? No. I didn't start until today, dumbass. Fine, be that way.

Editorial:

Cops on Bicycles.

Police hate bicycles. Watch the TV show 'Cops' for a few episodes and you will see them take a perp off a bike and NEEDLESSLY KICK THE BIKE on the way down. Oh sure, in some episodes you see Cops on Bicycles, but that's just part of a sensitivity training program for Cops who refuse to take a leave of absence for spiting on minorities. Start with the bikes, is their philosophy. If a Cop can ride a bike without kicking it, he or she can certainly be tolerant of the 'other races'.

Personally, I bear no ill will towards bicycles as a group. Some of my best friends are bicycles. I mean, hell, haven'y we all tried riding one at least once? I tried it, it wasn't for me. I was experimenting with a lot of drugs at the time and was mixed up and had no transportation. You'd have done the same thing.

So, Cops kinda suck if they hate bicycles for no reason, right? Well, they suck even if they have a reason. Most Cops would LOVE to ride a bicycle and are secretly fond of them. So, they kick them on the way down. It's like riding them, in a way, only much more violent.

Not all Cops hate bicycles. The previous statement is false.

I once saw a Cop piss on a bicycle. He saw me watching and waved. He WAVED while PISSING on a BICYCLE in broad daylight and no one did anything. A week later, I received a threatening Birthday Card. "Happy Birthday," it said. "Don't fuck with me or I'll kill you." I cn only assume it was that Cop. They're so clever. There's no way to prove he was serious, the judge said. At least he said he was the judge when I met him at the park and ride to discuss bicycles.

So, if you're riding a bike and you see a Cop, don't be surprised when you end up in jail!
Murk.