No, You May Not, Mr. Garnett...

Despite the confusing title of this article, there is no doubt that Kevin Garnett may. He may come to Boston. He may win a championship here. He may be a Hall of Fame player. He may finally realize what it's like to play on a good to very good team. There are a lot of things he may do.

There is one thing he may not do. He may not be able to win over a tough media market. He's a great guy. Fans will love him. His teammates will love him. Referees will love him. Boston media may not.

Here is the sad truth. In Boston, nothing matters but championships. Even fans are disappointed when we don't win everything in every sport. Example: Red Sox. If you have no clue what I mean, how many cities get to win a world series per year? One. The Sox won in 2004. Just by sheer percentage odds, they won't win again for a bit. Only one team a year can. Yet, no matter the facts that baseball is the hardest sport to repeat in, fans and media bitch a blue streak for two straight years after winning it all and failing to repeat.

Even my beloved New England Patriots get hacked up constantly. They've won 3 NFL Championships since 2001. But fans just bitch bitch bitch and writers second guess and radio/TV idiots are abandonning the bandwagon because of 2 sub par years. Sub par by Boston standards. Offer those identical seasons to a Miami fan right now.

Anyways, Mr. Garnett, I am looking forward to meeting you this October. I want to introduce you to the worst division in the weakest conference in basketball: The Atlantic Division. Mr. Garnett, look around you. There's not a decent ceter or power forward within 2000 miles of you! You'll have my support and the support of the vast majority of Celtic greenbloods. Just do me a favor. Stay away from the media. You may not like them.

Stop for a second and look at this deal. The primary players are Al Jefferson and Gerald Green for Kevin Garnett. There might be a few draft picks in there, but they won't be lotery picks anyways. Not now at least. Okay, Theo Ratliff's expiring contract is cool to have, but only if you can trade it. That's offset by unloading (click-clack) Sebastion Telfair.

So: Garnett for Green and Jefferson. I make that trade every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Even if they have to add The Sweetener: Ryan Gomes. Look, these three guys were pleasant surprizes. Okay, Green was an unpleasant fiasco, but could be good someday. Kevin Garnett is Kevin Garnett. KG! MR GAR-FUCKING-NET! Is he as good as he used to be? Better, I think. He's a much better player than 3 years ago. Maybe not as athletic, but come on! Can anyone seriously say that he's on the downside of his career? I don't care! Look at Shaq. Garnett is still huge. He's a great passer and a wonderful defender. 5 time all defensive team, if I'm not mistaken.

This deal makes more sense than going to confession right before you die. Sure, it might not have any effect, but if it does, the payoff is invaluable.

So, I for one applaud (this hurts) Danny Ainge for not thinking outside the box on this one. He's made the Celtics an Eastern Conference powerhouse again. That's all we've wanted for 20 years. That and six championships and a time machine to fix some of the mistakes... but hey. This is a start.

That is, if the deal does go down.

Just For Hobbs

Because 'sports are stupid', let's take a closer look at some of the sporting headlines of the week. Let's see...

Michael Vick kills dogs... Joey Proter punches dude at blackjack table... brrrrr... um, NBA Referee investigated for manipulating games to win bet....

WAIT!!!!!

NBA Refs are biased and intentionally keep games close? Hell, a two year old could tell you that. Here's the part I don't understand. I thought David Stern told them to keep the games close, not the MAFIA!

Well, either way, my long standing theory of corrupt NBA Officiating is finally proven true. One step away from proving David Stern IS a mob boss.

1. He runs that league like a mob boss.

2. Marketable players always seem to end up in the finals. Detroit was the exception, until Stern poisoned Larry Brown and paid Ron Artest to start a near riot at the Palace.

3. David Stern TALKS like a mob boss. Not the voice, not the accent, but he's always vaguely threatening and intentionally obtuse during interviews.

If I were this Ref, I'd be out of the country by now. Bad enough he's being investigated for ties to the mob, he's ruining David Stern's league!

Stern: Hey, come take a look at this view out here on my balcony.

Ref: No thank you, sir.

Stern: Did I put a question mark on that.

Ref: No.

Stern: C'mere.

Ref: Please, I... I...

Stern: I'm not going to kill you. Come here.

Nobody is telling the truth if they try to assure you that they aren't going to kill you.

Point is, it's one thing when the news headlines are all filled with scandal. When the sports page reads like the police blotter, that's a different cow altogether. We can tell a lot about a society by its entertainment.

Kids follow athletes, musicians and celebrities. The Western World has not held these people accountable for the last 20 years or more. This group coming into their own right now are a continuation of the downward spiral of the West.

I, for one, am okay with all of this. If I'm going to live out my life, day after day, grind in and grind out, I'd rather do it with the world in flames around me. History always needs flames.

Some idiots would miss the connection of sports and society, but the two mirror each other. Follow American Culture and American Sports. They rise and fall together.

I just hope I get my book written before the electricity gets shut down. No one can read my writing...

A New Wing

I've added a new wing to the Palatial Estate on The Hill .

I hope you like dark places and Birthday Surprizes!

Hill TV is MINE!

I have restored Hill TV to its former glory. But wait! This is not like the old Hill TV... actually, it quite is. Like the old days.

The old days are back. Remember, as always, there's room for two.

A Whole New Kind of Hate

Look. I fucking read the book. I read it. It was called Fight Club, and it was by some idiot named Chuck Pallywacker or something. This little fucking nitwit writes a book about guys fighting in basements. It sucks. It SUCKS!

Don't bother reading Fight Club. Take your lazy ass out to some field with a couple of your friends and try it yourself. You're still just a couple of guys hitting each other. It's almost homoerotic in a way... which is fine, if you're into that. I'm not saying it's bad at all. I just wouldn't be gay ever. Maybe for $2,000,000... That would pay for a lot of therapy.

Anyway, back to this whole rant. Give revolution a rest, Gen X, Y and Z. Get a good night's sleep and wait for the professionals to come through with the wrecking ball. Nooooo need to gum up the works and 'blowed stuf upp'. We'll take it from here. We are the Human Race. No one does destruction like us. Get out of our way and let us finish what we started. No reset button. No 'Project Mayhem' or Operation Mind Fuck needed. And here's the kicker...

We'll give you the whole deal for free and you don't have to lift a finger.

If you have no idea what I just said, you are

a). Over Fifty and Acting Like It. Good for you. Fucking live it up until the Sun goes down. I SALUTE you! ALL SINCERITY. Go to town, because here comes the payoff.

b). Under 18 and Showing It. Talk about search hits with that phrase. If you're too young to save the world, don't worry. It's not being saved by anyone.

So, here's my Brand New Shiny Hate...

Strugglers.

No more trudging forward. Lay down. Lay down. Lay down you'll calm the boat. Don't grab at stuff that isn't there anyways. Just lay down. Lay down now.

No more Strugglers.