Disease

If you ever get a disease, it's your fault.

These people list a few, which I'll use to demonstrate the validity of my theory.

10
Gulf War Syndrome

Stay the fuck out of the Middle East, dummy.


9
Twentieth-Century Disease

Also known as multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS).

You shouldn't be touching things.

8
Stiff Person Syndrome

Never try to do shit.

7
Morgellons Disease

Morgellons disease is characterized by symptoms including crawling, biting, and stinging sensations. You have crabs or bed lice. Dirty fucker.

6
Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome

Lay off the booze and burritos, amigo.


5
Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity

You said yes to the aliens.

4
Nodding Disease

Kiss ass.

3
Peruvian Meteorite Illness

Stay the fuck out of PERU and don't fuck with meteors.

2
The Sweating Sickness

Lose weight and stop eating fried food, fatty.

1
Exploding Head Syndrome

LSD will do that, you know. So will a lot of other drugs.