The Gift

So, before I launch into a tirade, I will give some background information. I have been tolerating a certain ad campaign by a certain retailer for over three months now. I've had enough. I'm not sure if these ads are regional or national. I can guarantee they're not oversees. So if you haven't seen or heard of this company or their ads, fear not. Join me in a rant about something which you've never seen.

Jewelry. I understand the appeal, ladies. I get it. Take some hard earned money and buy a lady something impractical that tells the other ladies that you've got your man so whipped he'll do anything. I really get it.

BUT, have you seen the smut the goldsmiths and diamond dealers think you'll fall for? Here's a few facts before I go off:

1. If your man shops at a chain jewelery store that he saw on TV, then your man is an idiot. Real jewelry comes from real jewelers who don't have to advertised and are not found in a mall.

2. Chain jewelers are junk peddlers. The advertise because they want women to think they want what all the other women want. If you get the same gift from the same store as the next bimbo, then you must be trashy.

So, when a a jewelry store claims that the best thing you can hear is "He went to Jared!!!!!", they are saying "You'll want what we tell you to want, you fat hog, and what you want is mass produced whoreglass and gold plated nickel crap trinkets like the circus freaks and your friends have!!!!"

Jared is the K-Mart of jewelry chains. In short, if he didn't go to Jared, be glad. Real bling isn't made in a factory.